Thursday, December 6, 2007
tsk. okay. yesterday night I was darn pissed with my computer sey. seriously. first,, it was darn slow. second,, when I was about to finish my blogging,, there was something wrong with the internet connection. then when it's okay,, I connect my com to internet balek ahh. then I clicked "publish". then suddenly the internet connection blah blah blah again. then some more before tht,, I wanted to post my pics right,, then got problem again. always got problem ahh this com. then Mama doesnt understand how slow the com is,, and skejap2 pakai com je kene marah.
yesterday I sat 1 hour in front of the com trying to finish blogging but the com was darn slow tht it took me almost 3 hrs to do it. tsk tsk tsk. what luck.
but yesterday's outing was fun.
oh I forgot to talk about something interesting.
we were walking at the bridge in front of Far East Plaza
when suddenly,, that bridge shook. there were some people running there,,
and gosh. we looked at each other thinking,, "you guys felt tht?".
I thought I was the only one or I was mabuk or what. it was raining some more.
yesterday don't have any earthquakes right? scary sey. can demolish tht bridge and make a new one? bile turun bridge je,, I was like OH MY GOSSSH!
now I'm having a flu. tsk tsk. pale otak berbelit belit.
are you there Allah? it's me,, Nasyiba. I don't know what's wrong. maybe I'm just stressed up. maybe I should take a break. but how? problems come one after another. this year,, I think I've changed alot. I used to be really kecoh and cheerful. but now I just don't know how to be fun when I'm not. I keep everything to myself. the good,, and the bad. It's like,, everything I was about to do is wrong. I found that I'm much more sensitive than before. I get hurt easily.
and most of the time,, I don't want people to know I'm hurt.I tend to get pissed over small things and be more bad-tempered. sometimes it just doesn't seem right. I don't know if people realised it or not. but I did. sometimes it seems that my strengths are fading. my loved ones are changing and the world is so different. people may say,, this is just the beginning of teenage life,, but it feels like the end. Allah,, can you hear me? and now I don't know what to do. but all I know is that there are more coming. and I have to prepare. cos I don't know what lies ahead. I thought I managed to go through those obstacles in life. but on secound thought,, they still bother every day of my life. and all these years I've been wondering. what's behind all this? what are you trying to show me? I'm still so young and there's a long way to go. but how will I ever be able to face this ahead when I can't deal with them now? I wonder when all this will end. then I would stop putting on fake smiles every day. Can you hear me? everything that I deserve land on others' hands. everything that I say falls on deaf ears. people can say anything they want to. but what do they know,, exactly? why did you let all this happen in such a short time? why can't you give me time to adapt to this one by one? you knew I was too young. and once my family was my everything. but now everything changed. why? you knew I wasn't strong enough. now all those happy moments are just memories of the past. and please,, don't let my strengths die. can you hear me?
black&white ; Thursday, December 06, 2007
