Sunday, January 13, 2008
the job interview was fine.
met Qayyum at tiong bahru,,
then went to the LJS there.
the manager was friendly. thank God.
but then,, I have to work for at least 4 days a week
for beginners.
well,, that's actually very fine to me,,
but I don't think Mama will agree.
I told her it's 3 days only.
then I'll act as if the extra 1 day is just
a last-minute one.
ohh God.
ok lahh. I can work okay.
I can. I can.
:D
I can't tell Abang where I'm working,,
cos I'm afraid he would tell that jerk.
oh yes.
I cried while doing the families and friends album project thingy.
I don't know why.
Mama was like heckcare-la-sey.
she said just put anything.
so yes,, I thought of all those old old names.
like kassim. or selamat. saloma. zaiton.
hahahahahahahahahahahah.
I don't even know what that jerk is working as.
or his birthday.
or his age.
I really don't know.
and I wrote that compo
a hari raya pic.
an old one.
like a happy family portrait.
but the compo made it look like
all those faces in that pic
are all fake ones
they seem happy.
but they aren't.
gawwwd.
then when I read out the names I wrote to Mama,,
she burst out laughing.
she definitely didn't know I cried.
dear ________.
I don't know what you think of this.
I'm gonna work.
I'm serious about this.
I bet you wouldn't let me do it
if you're here.
but you're not here with me.
going through every single day with me.
after you left,,
everything goes wrong.
Mama doesn't really like me working.
but she knows I'm trying to help her.
so don't put the blame on her.
I know,, if you're alive,,
I wouldn't have to go to work at this age.
I know,, if you're alive,,
Mama wouldn't have to take 3 jobs.
I know,, if you're alive,,
my life would be happy forever.
I know,, if you're alive,,
I would be the luckiest daughter on Earth.
that jerk ruined my life,,
I thought you would save me from him.
but you had to go.
I'm missing you so much.
black&white ; Sunday, January 13, 2008
