Monday, October 8, 2007
k the stress is almost over now. 4 more days and exams will be over ok bongok. and i don't have a handphone,, kalau ader i will put loads of photos. ah. shit lah. aniway,, i guess i getting a new one. ah.. so hapwee. ok. bongok is about to start crapping.
hmm what to talk bout? ntah ler. oh ya. i'm sick? ntah uh. i need to go bloody blood check-up to see if i got,, urm what do you call that? k it's a sickness. but i won't dare blog bout it. ok. i cant tell yet if i really have it. even if i have it,, i cant tell,, no. no one will know. but yeah i'm putting on a fake smile nowadays. semakin syawal menjelang ni. ntah la knape. and no one knows. yea =X. so i'll tell it to my blog,, yea. craps. no one knows.=X
oh anyway spending my before-school with fil shiok jugak eh. just that i kinda regret pi naek mrt the other day. bcos:
1 subject fail = 1 month tak bleh cakap ngan die.
and tht's like,,
what the f***ing hell
and myraa,, hah. i donno lah i suddenly feel like putting ur name in my post. haha.
yea selamat hari raya evwee body. aku banyak dose,, maafkan eh,, =D.
ni my thoughts about something. something. top secret. and if you are really close to me,, you'll know. someday you'll know.
how can I explain the truth to them?
should I keep it as a secret for the rest of my life?
will someone ever get to know it?
what if a friend will be with me for the rest of my life,, and still doesn't know it?
how can I explain why I didn't say it earlier?
should I open up?
but what if they think I'm just taking advantage?
because I don't look like the one I really am.
and everyone thinks I'm really smiling.
but what can I say?
what should I say?
will someone be there to see me cry?
will he or she understand?
or will he or she lend a helping hand?
will he or she be used to these stuff?
will he or she really be eager to listen to me?
who's gonna catch me when I fall?
who'll be there?
who'll not be ashamed to see me crawl?
even if someone knows about it, what will they do?
what can they do?
say the same things like others?
cos I don't listen.
should I anyway?
do those words help?
do they really help?
if only I didn't know the true meaning of happiness,, I won't be yearning for it.
I wanna find it.
but where is it?
tell me.
who knows?
there's always something behind my smile,, every single smile.
and no one knows.
will they know?
goodbye.
black&white ; Monday, October 08, 2007
