the 3 MEs.
1st ME is...
1. so quiet that you may think she's dumb
2. shy
3. innocent
4. optimistic
2nd ME is...
1. hyper
2. bongok
3. mischevious
4. HOT
3rd ME is...
1. pessimistic
2. stupid
3. bitchy
4. HOT
so guess which ME I am now. :) obvious la deyy
crapsss.
assshole ahh. bored lahhhhh.
black&white ; Wednesday, October 31, 2007
hari ni bored mautt seyyy.
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
SBSBS,, I think we should hang out more.
serious ahh.
before it's too late.
before I commit suicide.
before I get bored to death.
help.
pagii pagii akuu bangunn mandii.
lepass mandii akuu bukakk teevee.
suriaa boring tkde pape.
channel 5 pun boringg.
akuu bukakk kids central ahh.
akuu tengokk pinkyy dinkyy dooo.
shiokk pulak tuu.
crapss laa.
amyraa,, akuu rinduu samaa kamuu lahh bebb.
kite hang out jom.
muhuahahaah. k akuu sudah tukar mode jadi gilerr lah bebb.
kite pi jurong library lah and crap there ke.. pi makan ke..
kalau boleh every day aku free aku nak jumpe kao.
kao tau tak. XD
oh friday nak jumpe eh pi lunch??
baik ahh bebb. :)
ok dahh akuu tak tauu apee nakk cakapp lahh.
black&white ; Wednesday, October 31, 2007
SONGS OF THE DAY! :)
black&white ; Wednesday, October 31, 2007
the song of the day.. =D
spin - janji kita
black&white ; Tuesday, October 30, 2007
ok akuu hyper! =D
akuu happy! :D
akuu tak tau knape! =)
tadi aderr malay dance. and I tootly donno why I soo pendiam.heh. and it suddenly turned out boring. kan kan. ahh.
siti kate my blog so fierce ah. ye ker?? haha. ok lah kite nak lembot lembot ok.
Assalammualaikum semua. Nasyiba di sini. craps.
oh ya my blood group is B. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I tolded you,, bongok-ness is in my blood. B is for bongok. ok.
and oh Sarah joget zapin,, the cutest la sey!! hahahahahh. kekek seyy. cute like hell ah.
Fil joget zapin maseh nak masokkan hip hop yer?? XD
relax la,, ni bukan indian dance tau!
oh skarang my abang is home and I and Seha jadi nurses. hahah.
he still miss the hospital nye bed pasal boleh adjust XD. he loves to play with the bed ahh.
just now I bought him longans and ferrero rocher,, =D Mama ngan Seha sebok je bedal.
and oh maybe the hikmah behind abang nye accident is that we got a chance to meet his girl..
heeeeheee. jambuuu mauuuttt seyyy. kalau aku lelaki pon da cair siots.
bakal kakak iparr kuu hooottt lah bebb... =D
ok da.. =D akuu misss SBSBS lahhhh.
black&white ; Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Is anybody out there
Does anybody see
That when the lights are off
Something's killing me
I know it seems like people care
Cos they're always around me
But when the day is done
And everybody runs
Who will be the one to save me from myself?
Who will be the one who's there?
And not ashamed to see me crawl
Who's gonna catch me when I fall?
When the show is over
And it's empty everywhere
It's so hard to face going back alone
So I walk around the city
Anything, anything to clear my head
I've got nowhere to go, nowhere but home
It may seem I have everything
But everything means nothing
When the ride that you've been on
That you're coming off
Leaves you feeling lost
Is anybody out there
Does anybody see
That sometimes loneliness is just a part of me
black&white ; Monday, October 29, 2007
hello. I've been busy nowadays. abang masok hospital because of a motorcycle accident,, oh gosh. around 7 or 8 wounds ah. so sad lah. :'(
I spent around 3 days 2 nights in the hospital. and people,, beware of NUH attendants.
one of them flirts with Mama. gosh. XD like,, darn serious ah. so K-po some more. I wanna sleep pon he wants to be at the bedside. stupid right. no privacy sia.
now abang is home. so glad to know he's getting better. but then I'm afraid,, his blood clot may have travelled to some other parts of his body,, like my late uncle's case. his right knee is numb.
later need to ask the hospital if it's ok or not. mummy!
and oh I wonder what's the hikmah behind all this. I hope abang won't speed any more,, but it would be better (I think) if he stop riding.
and something really happened. don't wanna talk bout it la.
ok da!~ I miss my friends! =)
black&white ; Monday, October 29, 2007
I'm sorry today got alot of things to talk about. if you're tired,, then read the previous one. =)
Seha was happy because his brother was quite concerned about us. yeah us. me,, Seha and abang. I think all of them had a serious fight with him. and now they know what type of person he is. but it's kinda weird. his brother had been with him for over 40 years and it took him soo long to know his own brother. that idiotic moron. the person who ruined my life. destroyed my everything and took away my happiness. only Allah knows how much I hate him. and only Allah knows how much I love him. and only Allah knows how much pain I've been through. only Allah knows why I still love him.
his brother said he's gonna try his best to get Abang back to school. but Abang is just so degil. but I hope he will succeed. oh how I hope.
and now I have a feeling the day of truth is just around the corner. soon everyone in his family will know what he did to us.
and they will be malu. cos they fitnah-ed us alot. and his brother is trusting us.
I guess everything's progressing very well,, except for studies and $$$. and mama.
black&white ; Friday, October 26, 2007
4 years old =),, teletubbies was my all-time favourite!
black&white ; Friday, October 26, 2007
today is like the best day of the month ahh
but one bad thing is that I couldn't spend more time with SBSBS like a few days ago.
cos got malay dance.
I performed. many peeps said I sang so softly. really meh?
I couldn't hear myself. like,, seriously ahh.
after that got conversational chinese language. so fun! so funny!
had the real fun crapping with Fil,, although she was bising semacam. XD
and I kept writing on the notes,, shadap,, shadap,, shadap.
but I didn't mean it though. hahh. crapping is fun!
then at 2pm was the best part of the day. so tooting shiok. but if Fil ade it would be more fun!
me,, dina,, sara,, fatin,, mida,, nasriah and didy (did I miss out anyone?)
made corn flakes. so shiok ahh. got music some more. from radio.
and then got DANCE FLOOR ANTHEM lah bebb. then I joget here and there.
and it reminds me of Amyraa. I'm gonna miss her.
I love checking the oven.
because it's HOT. and I am. in 1 minute I open 2-3 times ahh. XD
that's how foolish I can really be.
but it was darn tiring.
and I was not hungry. I seriously tooootly don't know why.
I haven't eat from 8pm yesterday? gosh. mcm puase gitu. I mean,, eat the real meal with rice and stuff. and I got water babies from Verlyn. =D
otw home,, in the bus,, got accident. but luckily I went home with Midah,, and it wasn't tht boring after all.
then jam here and there.
ok da! so darn tired lah. but happweee!
black&white ; Friday, October 26, 2007
black&white ; Thursday, October 25, 2007
I think I almost died. I took the blood test at polyclinic. yeah. it's not really very painful ah,, but after tht I felt darn giddy. so darn giddy I could have died. I rested for half an hour,, and I thought I would wake up to see myself in NUH or something. I think it's because I saw my own blood. soo much. I got phobia lah. they took so much ah. ingat free kepe. and oh there's this thing that checks my blood pressure. so cool ah. can feel the vibration. if only I could bring it back home.
then I went back to school. oh malay dance sold hotdogs again. I helped out this time,, the cleaning up. :D
and for the first time I and kak Dina did the real rehearsal. oooh. but my voice broke a bit. shit. besok kalau jadi camtu aku pengsan teros seh.
and guess what happened ah. the piece of paper yang ade the song lyrics koyak. XD I showed it to Cekgu Hanita right on front of many many people when I was on stage,, and everybody burst out laughing,, including myself. it was fun lah. haha! nak kate paisey tu tak ah,, but mcm shiok gitu buat orang lain ketawe. I better overcome my stage fright. better okay bongok.
after school I went to west mall,, still,, even though myra didn't come along. kesian die. bought earpiece but still I'm hoping for sony punyer. one day okie. then went to library and borrowed a book.
today Mama masak my favourite dude,, asam pedas ayam!! yahoooo! the red hot one! hwee hwee. ok I'm off to the kitchen! =)
Malam bertandang,, hati berbisik mengenang
cerita derita yang daku pendam.
Kata menguji,, cuba untuk kusudahi
berulang airmata membasahi.
Aku kini perlu berdiri
walau hakikatnya pasti kan melukai.
Aku ingin semua rasai
kerna pengakhirnya hidup ku sendiri.
p.s. : abang kene saman lagi for speeding. wtf? it's starting to be normal.
black&white ; Thursday, October 25, 2007
today so darn tiring ahh. but shiok. oh malay dance started collecting fund already. oooh so shiok. but how I hoped I could help out. the reservoir walk was boring,, but then got music ah. so shiok. thanks people. hah. but it was damn windy. hah.
then after school SBSBS went to IMM. to shop! oh yeah. Amyraa bought all of us gifts. thanks bestie. :) I really appreciate it. I'll get something for you,, a.s.a.p. ok. I got something for someone,, and I got myself a Ginvera nyer umm what's that called? moisturiser yea? lea recommend. lea's so good at shopping. before we buy something,, she will scan through the whole thing and look out for any bengkoks here and bengkoks there. next time go shopping bring microscope ok. XD. around 4pm je lea gile smacam. hahah. ade time slots die la.
oh and ya,, Lea saw something she wanted but da kelua kedai then she told Amyraa. then Amyraa was like a mad dog again. this is what she shouted in front of the crowd: "YOU KNOW MY BLADDER OR NOT?!".. hahahahahaha!!!! that time the others all were laughing like as if the whole IMM is bapak tiri laki mak kite punye ah. ape je Amyraa tu. siang2 tanak bilang nak gi toilet. huahua.
ok I watched Live The Dream. and I observed Seha's reactions when the hosts announced the contestants.
Victor : go and die la.
Fendi : I love you.
By definition : hahahah.
Catsinecradle : (biting her lips)
haha. ape je bongok ni.
ok ngantok da. oh tomorrow I coming school late ok. I wanna go clinic and check my bloody blood group. and then I'll be back to school. a.s.a.p. ok...
and oh the good side of me says,, it's probably not that bad or that BIG after all.. I hope so. ahh.
ok dada.
black&white ; Wednesday, October 24, 2007
black&white ; Tuesday, October 23, 2007
today I had the EE exhibition. all a waste of time ahh. my leader is Nadhirah's cousin. she's nice. hah. just like Nadhirah. and oh that time my group was separated ahh. I and my leader were walking around the school wondering where the others were. ape sey. wasted time again.
after school,, me and myra went to IMM. then oh what a coincidence,, we met Fil. hahah.
at Daiso,, there was this woman ahh,, laugh so loud and then Amyraa said, "MASYA'ALLAH". haha oh myraa dah taobat eh? hweehwee. oh ya btw,, Amyraa's loving pink! XD heeeh,, she said it ok. haahaah.
otw home,, amyraa met her primary school friends and was like a mad dog. hah.
and I met my juniors too. they're getting cuter,, but l****. hah. evil me.
and today so unlucky ahh. I lost $4. and so I had my lunch at 4.30pm. ahh. hungry lor. tomorrow I wanna go IMM again I think. I'm crazy about Old Chang Kee lah babe. hahahahh.
oh and btw,, shit shit,, my contract abes on 8th November. so if Mama don't wanna continue having Internet,, then I can't continue blogging. haix. I can't live without Internet lah.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Oh I should've known it from the start,,
That he would one day break my heart.
And then he would leave me all alone,,
And then he'll never telephone.
-----------------------------------------------------------
I,, I don't know why I miss you so much,,
yeah I,, I don't know why I still feel your touch.
You,, you left me all alone to cry,,
with nothing,, oh nothing but the question why.
and oh Amyraa,, the video above this post is the one I told you about. XD enjoy!
hah. ok dada~
black&white ; Tuesday, October 23, 2007
ok I don't know what's so wrong. 6 posts for one day. darn bored la. tomorrow got school. aah. at least better than today.
ok I'm happy Mama da tukar keje lagi. she's working at night now,, so jarang jumpe. heehee. lesser nagging yeah. XD
gosh I miss my friends so much. ahh.
I don't know la what's wrong with me.
I read someone's blog and cried.yah. weird. I thought I'm ok.
I mean,, I thought I'm ok with it already.
forget it.
how do I say it?
someone doesn't know. that I care.
and I pretended I didn't.
I know.
bcos at first I didn't want that person to know I care.
but don't ask me why,,
I don't know.
haish. ape aje la. why the hell am I hiding it then? stupid lah.
oh and cekgu called around 6.30pm to ask me to photocopy my passport.
ape sey. last minute tau. then waktu maghrib lah aku kelua sorang2.
it was cloudy,, and I sengaje didn't bring my handphone. hahah. mama nagged alot,, and I was quite moody ahh. so I didn't bring my handphone. bcos if I did,, she would have called and said,, "adek tolong belikan susu tin/telur/whatever"... blah blah blah. I knew it.
then otw back home it was raining. yeah. so sad ahh. I walked like emo like dat. haha. balek je kene marah. pasal tk bwak handphone. hah. yeah. just like I thought so.
ok dah ngantok. bubye
black&white ; Monday, October 22, 2007
black&white ; Monday, October 22, 2007
When I'm happy,, I'll smile as wide as I can.
When I'm sad or emo,, I'll cry like no one's business,, alone.
When I'm bongok,, I'll act as if I'm so smart.
When I'm shy,, I'll grin and grin and grin.
When I'm paisey,, I'll grin and act as if nothing happened.
When I'm sulky,, I'll not smile and it feels like crying.
When I'm really really merajuk,, I'll ignore everyone.
When I'm angry or pissed off,, I'll cry and yell at people,, or ignore them.
When I'm bored,, I play squash (at home) until Mama complain XD,, sing or do journalling or dance.
When I'm having problems,, I cry and share it with my diary.
When I'm puzzled or confused,, I'll think about it for awhile and eventually forget it. can't be bothered type uhh.
When I'm lazy,, I'll slack lah.
When I'm crazy,, I'll share my crazy-ness with peeps around me.
When I'm depressed,, I'll cry and eventually slack.
When I'm guilty,, I'll say sorry a million times.
When I'm unlucky,, I'll say vulgarities.
When I'm home alone,, play more squash!
When I'm broke (as in, $$),, I'll have no mood to hang out.
When I'm rich XD,, I'll go shopping and buy gifts for friends!
yeah! =) I'm bored actually.
black&white ; Monday, October 22, 2007
oh I and kak dina need to perform for deeparaya concert. but what la sey,, the cekgus didn't tell me about the song,, kitorang tkde cd ape ape lah. ape ajelah.
ok and about the matter I'm thinking of nowadays,, ahh. hmm.
I guess I understand.
It's for your own good dear.
But let me spend these holidays with you.
Just let me,, please.
And then you can let me go.
But you have to know,, and I guess you already know,,
that you mean so much to me,,
and I don't want to let you go.
But I have to. I know.
And I'm learning to,, you see.
Friendships don't last forever.
At first I thought,, there's still time.
Time for us.
But on second thought,, no.
You have to focus more on studies. Yeah.
It's okay. When all this is over,, we'll carry on.
I hope. yeah,, hopefully we will.
But anytime you need my help,,
just approach me aite.
I'll be there.
Trust me,,
I will.
yeaps
black&white ; Monday, October 22, 2007
this song darn nice la. it made me cry,, ='(
listen ok!
black&white ; Monday, October 22, 2007
black&white ; Monday, October 22, 2007
are you aware of what you make me feel baby
right now I feel invisible to you
like I'm not real
didn't you feel me lock my arms around you
then why'd you turn away
here's what I have to say
I was left to cry there
waiting outside there
grinning with a lost stare
that's when I decided
why should I care
cos you weren't there when I was scared
I was so alone
you,, you need to listen
I'm starting to trip
I'm losing my grip and I'm in this thing alone
am I just some chick you place beside you
to take somebody's place
when you turn around can you recognise my face
you used to love me you used to hug me
but that wasn't the case
everything wasn't okay
black&white ; Sunday, October 21, 2007
surianti and me at bugis mrt =)) reflection!
ooooh.
abang sebok tak sabar nak kire duit! hahahh XD
me and seha
it's been a long time since we last took a pic together. aww. ni hari raye day 1
brownies a.k.a. fertiliser
hwee hwee
ni amyraa tau
black&white ; Sunday, October 21, 2007
ashit. mama da siao da. just because seha didn't set alarm for her. ala baru brape minit yang pass. bodoh sey. kesian seha. tsk. MAMA sucks. fuck la. and just because of tht mama go and throw a cup of tea pat living room. haix. mak2 zaman skarang. hidup dngan die ni,, satu kali buat bende yang salah to her,, 10 kali nak kene cakap sorry. serious,, I'm not lying. bcos she's getting older. but not wiser. ahh.
black&white ; Saturday, October 20, 2007
gosh,, gosh. this is really happening.
no way. no way. how can I stop this from happening? fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! k I wanna cry.
nowadays things are changing alot. and my mood sucks alot la. almost everything I am doing is boring and pointless. shit. and being the same old person just won't work. If those around me are changing,, I have to,, too. And let me do it slowly. I need to ignore some people. yea. I have to. and ahh I'm really in no mood for the china trip olradi. but what should I do? see? nothing. uhuh. nothing.
it's what you call fate. I'm unlucky. this sucks la. fuck. I'm born too late. I should have known it from the start that things will change this way. what the fucking hell. ahh.
after css marketing me and didy went to imm to eat. and I found that,, we are somehow getting closer. very close. I mean,, compared to my relationship with some other seniors ahh. :D
ok life seriously sucks. these are the worst moments of my life. ok. I have to admit it. secondary school what. banyak nye dugaan. oh gosh. and I swear,, if she's letting my friend go,, she has to let me go too. I swear to Allah.
ok da.
black&white ; Saturday, October 20, 2007
nowadays nyer after-school getting more fun. more malay dance practices. oooh. darn shiok. but yeah the css marketing thing is very crap uh. then some more my dance steps still unsure. =/
ok 1 bad news. i don't wanna blog about it uh. mcm takot it will really really happen. argh.
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
ashit shit shit shit
shitto shit
darn darn hell
bloody bloody damn
oh my dog
nono
ahhh
i don't feel like going without her. yea her. then i will feel darn left out ah. paling2 cekgoos je yang slalu layan aku. haix.
jom kite same-same berdoa agar semua ini tidak akan terjadi. sembahyang hajat k. hahah. sembahyang 100 waktu. huahua. tsk tsk. haix. naseb naseb.
hah. =(
black&white ; Friday, October 19, 2007
k today I'm gonna blog about something I'm really thinking of,, since yesterday. since yesterday morning. yeaps. ok so if you don't know then act as if you understand and if you already know then just shut up.
she said she's letting my friend go slowly. hmmm. because she doesn't want my friend to get frustrated like what she felt last time. making friends with people with a different age and eventually then fight. yeah. and the way she said it is like making me terase. and I somehow felt that she's letting me go too. seriously. and I'm not lying about how I'm feeling. and I definitely know that I'm gonna lose her one day. because I seriously don't believe in 'friends forever'. but do they really exist actually? yea she can leave me,, but not now ah. we still have a lot to do. but yeah I know,, she needs to catch up with her studies bcos of her N and O level. so I can't bother her too much. I mean,, we really have to go separate ways. ahhh. ='(
I know we definitely will. I believe we will make good friends. I can't bear losing you but I know I have to do it. But every second telling myself that I have to forget you just make me miss you more. And I wonder,, how will you forget me? Maybe it's just about time. yea. time. We need more time to be together. But time will pass very fast. And I just can't believe it's about time. After 2nd December,, we'll be on different tracks. And if you are thinking what I am thinking,, wait. Are you sure? We just met. And I want to treasure more time. What can I do?
k that's all. bye :)
black&white ; Thursday, October 18, 2007
it's been a long time since I last blog rite. hari raye ler. overall boring maut seyy. the best part is the $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ part. hahah. I'm money face nye type what. millionaire in training. hah.
1st day okay uh. collection is the best! bnyk tau. weeeeeee. and the first thing I did when I reached home was to kire and kire and kire! but stupid la,, I kept opening the sampul from the opposite direction. pathetic. 1st day I went raye raye wearing my maroon kebaya.
2nd day darn tooot boring. went to johor. to waste time. the people there are irritating. trust me. except for some. collection seriously tak bnyk. but that part didn't really bring me down. it's the part when my cousins crap all day. so childish ler. then there's this kuih,, called cakar ayam. seha thought it's bawang goreng. hahahahahahahahahahaahhh. funny yer. then I spent the night at my aunt's house. kene gigit nyamok. ahh. 2nd day raye with my orange baju kurung. mmm.
3rd day raye is today. but I'm not going anywhere. yeps. baru balek johor. tomorrow got school some more. alalalalaahh. benci ler. ok da. bye! bongok ade gambar raye tapi tk bleh upload. haix. paham2 je lah. bongok nak pi shopping lah. anyone wants to accompany me??? pls! anytime uh! wweeeeeeee!!!
black&white ; Monday, October 15, 2007
today is ok uh. haha. dapat duit uh! yaye!!! so tomorrow nak pi causeway point shopping! yaye!
I went to redhill to meet THEM. yea the final one. aww so sad. sorry I have to leave. I know what's best for me. I met up with Ashereen (my primary school friend) at Clementi MRT and went off to redhill. oh memories being with them still on my mind. especially with someone. someone who was once special to me. but now no more. oh flirts! go to hell. oh the first time I met them,, baru primary six sey. and I didn't expect it to go on like this. ='( aww. I'll miss them. I'm gonna miss them alot.
ahah just now while I was bathing I heard my jiran nye children having a fight. hah. can hear them puki-ing here and puki-ing there. XD
oh soo cute. huahua. then I shouted "oi shadap la!".
XD. padan muke. tau pon takot.
heh bye!
black&white ; Thursday, October 11, 2007
and if you have time please please visit www.sbsbs.blogspot.com!!!!!!!!!!! =D
black&white ; Wednesday, October 10, 2007
cute eh my cousins!
ok we were just having fun. =)
I find this really nice and I don't know why. haha.
oh senget. tsk tsk. adjusting her sox.I'm darn bored ley.
ok I sort of flunk my oral la. some more Mr Fazlin lah deyy. hah. then after school shiok giler la. hah. we went to nad's place at first. and it was like private nye rumah. whoa it really looked like private la deyy. wa lao. then we went to causeway point to shop. wee! I got amyraa and fil something like friendship band,, I hope they like it. I got it for myself too. and a black and white checked chain. lawa tau! heehee. ok so friday I'll do more shopping! yayes!
black&white ; Wednesday, October 10, 2007
oh do you see a setan gondol there? that's my brother. haha.
memories!
black&white ; Tuesday, October 09, 2007
hmm today nothing much. these days,, exam period kan. hah. dismissal so early. haix. bored maut seh. but at home i watched movies. since my dvd player rosak,, i used computer lah. the qabil khushry qabil igam tu,, shiok la. but the first part got merepek jugak uh. the ending too touching,, ='( and yea faham2 je la. heehee.
ok after school i met fil. she wanted to read my diary kan. ouh. oushit ouhs. oush ohhs. ohh. oh. ouhs. ouhs. so f***ing paisey seh. ha.
and art exam is like the best exam i've ever had in my whole life! for the first time i thought my drawing darn nice. then while i was drawing,, i hummed and sang and hummed and sang. my painting heard it. the colour pencils too. craps. oh who cares? no one heard it XD.
ok da!~ and yay i'll be getting back a new handphone. urm? new? new to me, because i've never used it before,, but someone else did actually. ok craps. da!~
black&white ; Tuesday, October 09, 2007
oh jojo is like so sweet. i loike her & and her voice & her songs!
niway it's jojo's get out (leave)
and at that time she was 13 =)
black&white ; Monday, October 08, 2007
black&white ; Monday, October 08, 2007
k the stress is almost over now. 4 more days and exams will be over ok bongok. and i don't have a handphone,, kalau ader i will put loads of photos. ah. shit lah. aniway,, i guess i getting a new one. ah.. so hapwee. ok. bongok is about to start crapping.
hmm what to talk bout? ntah ler. oh ya. i'm sick? ntah uh. i need to go bloody blood check-up to see if i got,, urm what do you call that? k it's a sickness. but i won't dare blog bout it. ok. i cant tell yet if i really have it. even if i have it,, i cant tell,, no. no one will know. but yeah i'm putting on a fake smile nowadays. semakin syawal menjelang ni. ntah la knape. and no one knows. yea =X. so i'll tell it to my blog,, yea. craps. no one knows.=X
oh anyway spending my before-school with fil shiok jugak eh. just that i kinda regret pi naek mrt the other day. bcos:
1 subject fail = 1 month tak bleh cakap ngan die.
and tht's like,,
what the f***ing hell
and myraa,, hah. i donno lah i suddenly feel like putting ur name in my post. haha.
yea selamat hari raya evwee body. aku banyak dose,, maafkan eh,, =D.
ni my thoughts about something. something. top secret. and if you are really close to me,, you'll know. someday you'll know.
how can I explain the truth to them?
should I keep it as a secret for the rest of my life?
will someone ever get to know it?
what if a friend will be with me for the rest of my life,, and still doesn't know it?
how can I explain why I didn't say it earlier?
should I open up?
but what if they think I'm just taking advantage?
because I don't look like the one I really am.
and everyone thinks I'm really smiling.
but what can I say?
what should I say?
will someone be there to see me cry?
will he or she understand?
or will he or she lend a helping hand?
will he or she be used to these stuff?
will he or she really be eager to listen to me?
who's gonna catch me when I fall?
who'll be there?
who'll not be ashamed to see me crawl?
even if someone knows about it, what will they do?
what can they do?
say the same things like others?
cos I don't listen.
should I anyway?
do those words help?
do they really help?
if only I didn't know the true meaning of happiness,, I won't be yearning for it.
I wanna find it.
but where is it?
tell me.
who knows?
there's always something behind my smile,, every single smile.
and no one knows.
will they know?
goodbye.
black&white ; Monday, October 08, 2007
these few days quite busy uh. not much time to blog many many. oh ya recently mama talked bout moving to eunos. wth. tht place so ulu uh.
and i cut my hair. it really sucks. i want it layered lah dey! babi barber. he kept making my head go senget some more. wth my hair darnly sucks larh.
life sucks. mama is getting more unreasonable. sadin.
oh and yesterday myra,, mirah,, lea,, me and nad went to lot 1. window shopping! OH SHIOK SHIOK. myra loves the kiddy palace. she loves barbie dolls. haha. i wanna go there again!nak belik tie,, baju,, wanna go the real shopping. chey. no i got bursary what. yaye!
this coming friday i going causeway point. looking forward to it.
ok bye! :)
ni gambar2 waktu buke with pak long... =) memories
the big family portrait. it's so dark. uncle nye gigi shining XD.
oh cousins.
first row from left: shaf,, fazila,, aisha,, frankli,, seha,, nasri.
second row from left: yazid,, silah,, dilah,, shikin,, norsia,, me!
black&white ; Saturday, October 06, 2007
yesterday i went to hougang. my aunt's place. ok la. my mum started lecturing about me winning the css juara thing,, and then my face turned red. haha. maloooo lah. then my makciks and pakciks started giving me alot of advice. they had too much faith in me. and now i'm scared. WHAT IF I FAIL TO SUCCEED AND SUCCEED TO FAIL in future?? ( idea by today's birthday girl,, verlyn ) hah. i am really afraid. they believe i'll be a successful one in future. even my makcik wanted me to be a singer. oush. shadap lah. now my academic results are going down. shit. how how how?
k now it's IT period. oush shiok shiok! haha. i loike! and people,, malay ones lah,, listen to gerhana ska cinta's song!!! senyuman ragamu,, very noice!
craps.
oh and on monday ayah called. the first one ade stupid silence. i said hello hello but no one answered. then the second one mama picked up. then he said, "nor,, panggel adek". then mama called me.
ayah: syiba? ( i kept really quiet ) syiba! syiba ni ayah jgn letak..
then his voice went off. tears were about to burst out of the corner of my eyes. oush. this year's hari raya,, like the last 5 years' hari raya,, i won't be meeting ayah. *sob sob*.
k toodles. dada. bye bye. bubye. bye. bai. whatever. craps.
[[behind the silence,, the tears]]
black&white ; Wednesday, October 03, 2007
ni lagu eminem,, mockingbird. best ah. :) kalau la aku anak eminem.. isn't he sweet?? XD
and oh *applause*,, I can rap,, this song.. chey chey..
black&white ; Monday, October 01, 2007
black&white ; Monday, October 01, 2007
elloh.
today's after-school was great. myra,, me,, lea,, nad,, mirah,, adeline,, elfin and weiying went to jurong entertainment centre to take neoprints. yea then mirah,, me,, myra and nad went to popular bookshop to get some stuff,, then we went home. home shit home.
oh yesterday's buke puase was great. really great. it happens once in a year. just once. hah. oh my auntie made my favourite,, kuih corn flakes! yay! then we played ps. then we celebrated my cousin's birthday too. ooh. memories. but mama didn't come along. and i know why.she had a fight with nenek. hah. ape sey.
then uncle sent me home. then on the way,, there was this row of trees kene kepung. then uncle explained what happened...
dulu there was this man who had an accident there. then he hit a tree. then the skin was peeled off,, to form a monkey face. so the chinese believe that the tree brings good luck,, something like that. and it has got something to do with their monkey god. yeah. interesting huh. so they tied red cloth to the tree and pray here pray there. whoa.
i guess that's all. oh and the song down here is nice,, =).
black&white ; Monday, October 01, 2007
black&white ; Monday, October 01, 2007
