k this is todays post eh.
myra tk gi skola, fil ponnn tk gi.
sialll nyeerrr nasebbb.
at first triply happy. bcos:
1. myra come to sch.
2. fil come to sch.
3. go sch with wool.
then tht no 1 and no 2 cncelled. haix.
pagi, migraine. mcm nk muntah, tapi da sampai toilet, tk jadi.
pi toilet sorang2, first time. in the middle of geog lesson plak tu.
couldnt concentrate much during geog. pfffft.
during eng rmdial, suddenly sugar rush.
nadhh sat beside me, then laugh like tooot.
hahah, miao miao da pandai buat lawak.
cute siol nadhirah! tk leh ang~.
but tooot lah, nadh and mirah went off earlier.
third language.
then teros i suddenly feel like crying.
mcm nk ikot pon aderr.
then lea balek ngan ridhwan tu, aku balek sorang.
got this feeling like a sec 1. >.<
oh. life is so boring. kan. abang kene saman $3000, pity him like fuck.
nanges oi aku. dunno where to get tht $3000.
he has been so damn unlucky these days. urgh.
how i wish i can feel the pain for him. then june, go ns.
got scdf. tsk. nanti rindu siol. and memang betol jgak,
kasih sayang seorang adik tak nampak.
wekkkkkk~!
and ah, I dont care lah now. no one does. so why bother kan.
ade kate life is beautiful if you know how to live it.
but tht's urs, totally different from mine.
no one knows anyway.
some ppl say must be grateful.
yah, I am grateful ENOUGH.
should I actually be THAT grateful?
nooo. k maybe yes. a teeny weeny bit.
but put urself in my shoes.
now I have to use my own money to buy everything I want.
INCLUDING SCHOOL STUFF.
and again, if u were me eh.
know how sad it would be having to work
just to get ur school bag, school shoes, specs, school uniform?
people tk tau, tkpe tkpe.
aku give up. idk where to go.
university? nahh. mama nak aku masok jc, like seha.
hahh. dream on. look at my science.
look at my english.
like fuck u know, mama.
i give up. i can only be optimistic when seha goes U or get a job to support me, or that fucking bastard get caught by police.
I cant stand it siol.
what's the point pon bilang korang. I dont understand myself.
sometimes. I dont know what to expect.
wth do I expect?
it doesnt make any diff to what I feel.
maybe it does, but just for a while.
and then it comes back. so, no point.
in fact, this is my last post.
okay. mmm, so the highest priority is my diary.
yah. understooded eh. so, no more blogging BONGOK.
whatever it is, I love you guys.
many2.
maybe I will come back, maybe I wont.
nta~. alah.
oh, official opening aku nyanyi tau tau tau.
:DD yippeeee.
kita jumpa lain kali ya, kawan2!
BYE KAWAN2! [ welcome to my life~! ]
black&white ; Thursday, April 10, 2008
guess la sape nii.
emoo langit.
tengok uh! :(
guess ah tangan sape. menyebok jerr. hahahah.
nah, myra. aku blaja tau. mindmap aku lawa.
painting aku. lawa tk lawa tk? i love the blue part langit and that treee~
oooops.
nice place to emo
the best EM bud there ever will be.
sbsbs so racist.hahah.
osman sulaiman hide.
cute!
chairman tido waktu geog. hahaha.
it looks disgusting, innit? but it's niceeee~BOOOOOO! How do you doooooo?
These days, my mood very very random.
Sometimes got sugar rush, sometimes I feel like crying.
When I am high, I am high to the extreme.
But when I am emo, I become so very emo that I wished it would rain.
But emo-ing is damn fun.
And the rainy season is back. :DD
Better jiwang sessions, yea yea yea.
K lets talk and talk and talk. & let me tell you why I am pissed off.
Malay Dance,
Aku jadi secretary, Nadh jadi logistic manager.
:DD yayyyy!
And best part is, Zura jadi president!
The best bud to dance with, eye contact power, very romantic.
Ooops, qayyum marah tak? X).
1. But the first hour in dance was BULLSHIT.
They like to point out my mistakes so much.
Cb siollll! “NASYIBA, KHAYAL JE EH,” then “NASYIBA ASAL HARI NI BLURR?”.
“NASYIBA PIKIR PASAL APE NI, BILANG CEKGU EH,”.
Aku ape lagi, smue maen gasak je lar.
Tunjok muke attitude, but at least I tried my best.
The music all the way like the same, very damn susah nak memorise the steps.
Sec 4s are so lucky, da step down.
But in the first place, I was not daydreaming! I was listening, but susah nak ingat steps, tu je ape.
Tak happy pe. Aku bilang nenek aku baru tau.
Naseb baek Zura, Susu and Nadh ade, sudi dengar aku complain.
Zura pon slalu dicarikan pasal oleh si due ekor abang tu.
Tapi maseh tk puas, complain at Fil and Myra, after dance.
So damn pissed.
2. And friday, CIT should be the best CIT there ever will be, but some mofos just dont know the meaning of coorperating.
Let me explain.
COORPERATING – working with other people to achieve a good result for everyone involved.
The one Im hating so much to the core is YH.
Pffft. Son of a ______!
Everything wanna complain.
If he thinks his suggestions are better,
Go to hell urh. No, langsong tkde suggestions eh die tu.
Everything complain.
Ade lagi manusie cmni kt dunie.
Nadh pon pernah geram kat die,
Sampai nk tape his mouth gitu.
We took mcm 10mins to get the whole class to get their ass-es off the chairs and take a class photo.
Padahal lea da terpekik telolong. And sbsbs babes were enthu.
Like fuck like that.
Santosh so cute, “twotwo is like tooooot,”.
Tht is so true!
And nak ambek gambar, sume orang so tk smngt, grrr.
3. Early in the morning, I noticed some vandalism on my table.
Naek angen, naek hantu, naek body temperature aku.
Mesti budak skolah laen dtg and pakai my table.
Mcm nak curse that person, tapi tk baek plak kan.
So fed-up.
4. Oh yesterday, got back Geog test.
Just pass. :( baru sec 2 Geog da terok gini.
How will I ever be able to cope with upper sec nye geog?
OMD. God, why do I suck at Geog so much?
5. Math homework. Teacher asked to hand in on Friday.
Thursday night, spent 3 & a half hour to complete those stuff.
And on Friday, Mr Heng didnt ask for it.
And I do homework so slow! God, why aint I a Math genius?
6. Housework. Laundry is driving me so crazy I feel like flushing those laundry down the toilet bowl.
Sometimes I whine like small children right there in the toilet.
God, how long do I have to do all this?
And cos of housework, I tend to sleep right after those housework.
And forget about revising.
K the end of those things tht pissed me off. I am sorry if you find me bad-tempered this few days.
I dont know why, I get so fed-up easily now.
And itu ari kan, aku first time pekik kt Terminator tu. Hahaha.
They said, ey today got english remedial leh.
Cos I brought my bag along for lunch.
I am so sick of those mofos thinking we are gonna skip rmdials or summat.
Then I shouted urh, I KNOW!
Padan muke. After that, I felt like clapping my hands.
Good job, nasyiba. Keep it up.
Gini mcm baru Nasyiba. Tk bleh cute, mesti fierce.
Tau Fil tau.
April Fool, kenekan Amyraa due kali! Hahahahahah!
Die nak kenekan aku, tapi tk jadi. Padan mukerrr.
Fil kenekan april fool eh?
But it turned out to be somehow true, :/.
LIFE IS SO BORING. SCHOOL IS SO STUPID. FAMILY IS SO USELESS.
Yah yah, usually aku boleh tukar mode jadi optimistic.
But nowadays tk bleh.
I’m so sick of life, school.
There is only one great thing about life right now.
And it is FRIENDS.
These people mean a lot to me.
And know why I didnt tell anyone about this sickening feeling?
I am so sick of words. So dont come to me giving me advice.
It wont work. Not even Myra. Idk why.
And I cant get a grip of myself, losing control gitu.
And dont think you are alone.
I am sorry bestie, I am so caught up in stuff right now.
Mama asyik sakit je. Homework makin bertepek.
and why am I telling u this?
Bestie, sorry about Thursday tu.
I really cant find time to revise. Urgh.
And sometimes it takes you long gitu nak faham ape aku bebual ehk.
Like why Mama tak gi doctor, why aku tk buat mindmap untuk geog.
And everything is easier said than done, xcept for love. :)
Tau Fil. Haha.
Time is a bitch. Time is so jealous of happiness.
Ape aku merepek.
I am not happy.
Why am I telling you this?
It is bcos you are d one and only blog I have. -.-
And I dont hide my feelings from my blog, do I?
Oh, shutthefuckup.
Syg nowadays hantar aku balek je.
I feel so bad, da lame tk hantar die balek.
But at least she made my darah go downstairs a bit, by 37.25%.
On other days, boleh sampai 99.99%, bile my original mood okay uh.
Amyraa sent me that Meraung song.
I got so addicted to tht song.
And cos my walkman nye play mode tkde repeat,
I made a new playlist named LAGU NI JE…
And the only song I have in tht playlist is Meraung.
-.-
Langit pon suke emo ngan aku otw home kan.
Except langit dont cry, awan yang nanges.
Langit lah yang stress.
Haix. Addicted to sighing.
Dose eh Fil? Da habit urh, too bad.
K random eh. Myra, I am right.
Sometimes, it is better to be invisible.
Today Fil ajak kuar blaja, tapi malam. Nta mama kasi ke tk.
Well, I dont really think so ah.
See myra, kalau aku invisible, aku pgi tau. Confirm.
Got nothing to entertain me at home, except for this lousy com here.
And keyboard aku mcm da nak rosak. :( not the com nye keyboard lah.
Da largh. Tknk emo lagiiiii~.
Tk terbuke nanti pintu rezeki. Eh?
Maen sebat je aku ni. Bile mase sey Ustaz ckp cmtu.
Hahah.
Boring! Gaaah.
Drama on Tuesday, hancur musnah segalanya.
Terok sey, we mixed up the scenes. Like tooot like tht.
And tht was the assessment know.
Urgh.
Nah, Fil nak sngt kan.
Amek kau. I saved this poem in my com as a poem for totot you know.
Totot-hood mcm da basi jerrr. Why why why?
You added colours into my life.
And never let my strengths die.
You showered me with love and care
And you have got qualities so rare.
What I thought in the first place was wrong
Now I gotta learn to be strong.
Cos someday, I am gonna lose you
And that is the hardest thing to do.
Sometimes I wish I had never knew you
Cos since then, I never want to lose you
But now I realise that I am lucky
To have you here, to make me happy.
If time drifts us apart someday,
Let it be, come what may.
Let my tears tell you everything
I will miss you, I will just keep waiting.
I leave it to God, I told you before.
Until the day He opens the door.
The door that will lead me back to you
I will prove to you that my promises are true.
I will never forget the happiness we shared,
The moments together, the tears we shed.
But I guess the time has come now.
Life has to go on, no matter how.
He will see how I will struggle through each day
Without you here to lead the way.
I promise you I will be here, I will wait.
Even though the both of us are separate.
Oh ya. CONGRATS to lea and nadh for the RI competition.
Aku tk menang! Bullshit btol.
Then I sacrificed my 2nd last malay dance session with sec 4s,
Tapi tk menang ape2. 2nd last eh? Ke 3rd last. Nta la.
:(
Oh u know what, there is this malay penulisan assignment given to us uh.
Title: Kemalangan yang dahsyat
Mine is like those newspaper article type uh.
I put Wak (pakcik aku la tu) nye name in there, as the victim sume.
Hahahahah! And I got 48/50. aku bilang myra tht it is my pakcik.
Then I said, I wrote his name there cos I hate him.
Then she laugh. Hahahah.
Then in malay lesson, we learnt bout simili and metafora.
Metafora is like nak describe someone nye actions pakai bende lain selain manusie,
Like menyinga(singa) gitu.
Then aku teringatkan Fil, tk abes2 bunge bunge bunge.
So I whispered to Myra, MEMBUNGE. Hahahah.
Cool metafora kan.
And art, Myra draw bulan dan bintang kan kan kan?
Cute, her bulan and bintang look like those in nursery rhyme nye books.
Bubye lahhh. :D fake smile tau ni.
Okay let me try again. :D k, aku happy.
:D
[ you said you were waiting for me. I walked past and you didnt even notice I was there. ]
These days, my mood very very random.
Sometimes got sugar rush, sometimes I feel like crying.
When I am high, I am high to the extreme.
But when I am emo, I become so very emo that I wished it would rain.
But emo-ing is damn fun.
And the rainy season is back. :DD
Better jiwang sessions, yea yea yea.
K lets talk and talk and talk. & let me tell you why I am pissed off.
Malay Dance,
Aku jadi secretary, Nadh jadi logistic manager.
:DD yayyyy!
And best part is, Zura jadi president!
The best bud to dance with, eye contact power, very romantic.
Ooops, qayyum marah tak? X).
1. But the first hour in dance was BULLSHIT.
They like to point out my mistakes so much.
Cb siollll! “NASYIBA, KHAYAL JE EH,” then “NASYIBA ASAL HARI NI BLURR?”.
“NASYIBA PIKIR PASAL APE NI, BILANG CEKGU EH,”.
Aku ape lagi, smue maen gasak je lar.
Tunjok muke attitude, but at least I tried my best.
The music all the way like the same, very damn susah nak memorise the steps.
Sec 4s are so lucky, da step down.
But in the first place, I was not daydreaming! I was listening, but susah nak ingat steps, tu je ape.
Tak happy pe. Aku bilang nenek aku baru tau.
Naseb baek Zura, Susu and Nadh ade, sudi dengar aku complain.
Zura pon slalu dicarikan pasal oleh si due ekor abang tu.
Tapi maseh tk puas, complain at Fil and Myra, after dance.
So damn pissed.
2. And friday, CIT should be the best CIT there ever will be, but some mofos just dont know the meaning of coorperating.
Let me explain.
COORPERATING – working with other people to achieve a good result for everyone involved.
The one Im hating so much to the core is YH.
Pffft. Son of a ______!
Everything wanna complain.
If he thinks his suggestions are better,
Go to hell urh. No, langsong tkde suggestions eh die tu.
Everything complain.
Ade lagi manusie cmni kt dunie.
Nadh pon pernah geram kat die,
Sampai nk tape his mouth gitu.
We took mcm 10mins to get the whole class to get their ass-es off the chairs and take a class photo.
Padahal lea da terpekik telolong. And sbsbs babes were enthu.
Like fuck like that.
Santosh so cute, “twotwo is like tooooot,”.
Tht is so true!
And nak ambek gambar, sume orang so tk smngt, grrr.
3. Early in the morning, I noticed some vandalism on my table.
Naek angen, naek hantu, naek body temperature aku.
Mesti budak skolah laen dtg and pakai my table.
Mcm nak curse that person, tapi tk baek plak kan.
So fed-up.
4. Oh yesterday, got back Geog test.
Just pass. :( baru sec 2 Geog da terok gini.
How will I ever be able to cope with upper sec nye geog?
OMD. God, why do I suck at Geog so much?
5. Math homework. Teacher asked to hand in on Friday.
Thursday night, spent 3 & a half hour to complete those stuff.
And on Friday, Mr Heng didnt ask for it.
And I do homework so slow! God, why aint I a Math genius?
6. Housework. Laundry is driving me so crazy I feel like flushing those laundry down the toilet bowl.
Sometimes I whine like small children right there in the toilet.
God, how long do I have to do all this?
And cos of housework, I tend to sleep right after those housework.
And forget about revising.
K the end of those things tht pissed me off. I am sorry if you find me bad-tempered this few days.
I dont know why, I get so fed-up easily now.
And itu ari kan, aku first time pekik kt Terminator tu. Hahaha.
They said, ey today got english remedial leh.
Cos I brought my bag along for lunch.
I am so sick of those mofos thinking we are gonna skip rmdials or summat.
Then I shouted urh, I KNOW!
Padan muke. After that, I felt like clapping my hands.
Good job, nasyiba. Keep it up.
Gini mcm baru Nasyiba. Tk bleh cute, mesti fierce.
Tau Fil tau.
April Fool, kenekan Amyraa due kali! Hahahahahah!
Die nak kenekan aku, tapi tk jadi. Padan mukerrr.
Fil kenekan april fool eh?
But it turned out to be somehow true, :/.
LIFE IS SO BORING. SCHOOL IS SO STUPID. FAMILY IS SO USELESS.
Yah yah, usually aku boleh tukar mode jadi optimistic.
But nowadays tk bleh.
I’m so sick of life, school.
There is only one great thing about life right now.
And it is FRIENDS.
These people mean a lot to me.
And know why I didnt tell anyone about this sickening feeling?
I am so sick of words. So dont come to me giving me advice.
It wont work. Not even Myra. Idk why.
And I cant get a grip of myself, losing control gitu.
And dont think you are alone.
I am sorry bestie, I am so caught up in stuff right now.
Mama asyik sakit je. Homework makin bertepek.
and why am I telling u this?
Bestie, sorry about Thursday tu.
I really cant find time to revise. Urgh.
And sometimes it takes you long gitu nak faham ape aku bebual ehk.
Like why Mama tak gi doctor, why aku tk buat mindmap untuk geog.
And everything is easier said than done, xcept for love. :)
Tau Fil. Haha.
Time is a bitch. Time is so jealous of happiness.
Ape aku merepek.
I am not happy.
Why am I telling you this?
It is bcos you are d one and only blog I have. -.-
And I dont hide my feelings from my blog, do I?
Oh, shutthefuckup.
Syg nowadays hantar aku balek je.
I feel so bad, da lame tk hantar die balek.
But at least she made my darah go downstairs a bit, by 37.25%.
On other days, boleh sampai 99.99%, bile my original mood okay uh.
Amyraa sent me that Meraung song.
I got so addicted to tht song.
And cos my walkman nye play mode tkde repeat,
I made a new playlist named LAGU NI JE…
And the only song I have in tht playlist is Meraung.
-.-
Langit pon suke emo ngan aku otw home kan.
Except langit dont cry, awan yang nanges.
Langit lah yang stress.
Haix. Addicted to sighing.
Dose eh Fil? Da habit urh, too bad.
K random eh. Myra, I am right.
Sometimes, it is better to be invisible.
Today Fil ajak kuar blaja, tapi malam. Nta mama kasi ke tk.
Well, I dont really think so ah.
See myra, kalau aku invisible, aku pgi tau. Confirm.
Got nothing to entertain me at home, except for this lousy com here.
And keyboard aku mcm da nak rosak. :( not the com nye keyboard lah.
Da largh. Tknk emo lagiiiii~.
Tk terbuke nanti pintu rezeki. Eh?
Maen sebat je aku ni. Bile mase sey Ustaz ckp cmtu.
Hahah.
Boring! Gaaah.
Drama on Tuesday, hancur musnah segalanya.
Terok sey, we mixed up the scenes. Like tooot like tht.
And tht was the assessment know.
Urgh.
Nah, Fil nak sngt kan.
Amek kau. I saved this poem in my com as a poem for totot you know.
Totot-hood mcm da basi jerrr. Why why why?
You added colours into my life.
And never let my strengths die.
You showered me with love and care
And you have got qualities so rare.
What I thought in the first place was wrong
Now I gotta learn to be strong.
Cos someday, I am gonna lose you
And that is the hardest thing to do.
Sometimes I wish I had never knew you
Cos since then, I never want to lose you
But now I realise that I am lucky
To have you here, to make me happy.
If time drifts us apart someday,
Let it be, come what may.
Let my tears tell you everything
I will miss you, I will just keep waiting.
I leave it to God, I told you before.
Until the day He opens the door.
The door that will lead me back to you
I will prove to you that my promises are true.
I will never forget the happiness we shared,
The moments together, the tears we shed.
But I guess the time has come now.
Life has to go on, no matter how.
He will see how I will struggle through each day
Without you here to lead the way.
I promise you I will be here, I will wait.
Even though the both of us are separate.
Oh ya. CONGRATS to lea and nadh for the RI competition.
Aku tk menang! Bullshit btol.
Then I sacrificed my 2nd last malay dance session with sec 4s,
Tapi tk menang ape2. 2nd last eh? Ke 3rd last. Nta la.
:(
Oh u know what, there is this malay penulisan assignment given to us uh.
Title: Kemalangan yang dahsyat
Mine is like those newspaper article type uh.
I put Wak (pakcik aku la tu) nye name in there, as the victim sume.
Hahahahah! And I got 48/50. aku bilang myra tht it is my pakcik.
Then I said, I wrote his name there cos I hate him.
Then she laugh. Hahahah.
Then in malay lesson, we learnt bout simili and metafora.
Metafora is like nak describe someone nye actions pakai bende lain selain manusie,
Like menyinga(singa) gitu.
Then aku teringatkan Fil, tk abes2 bunge bunge bunge.
So I whispered to Myra, MEMBUNGE. Hahahah.
Cool metafora kan.
And art, Myra draw bulan dan bintang kan kan kan?
Cute, her bulan and bintang look like those in nursery rhyme nye books.
Bubye lahhh. :D fake smile tau ni.
Okay let me try again. :D k, aku happy.
:D
[ you said you were waiting for me. I walked past and you didnt even notice I was there. ]
black&white ; Thursday, April 10, 2008
lawa kan lawa kan :D
matrep ini namanya arep.
nta knape nadh suroh ambek gambar, nah ni ambek uh. :D
rain rain. langit nanges?
ni pon lawa.Boooo.
Today Myra in KL. :(
Aku nk ikot! Rindu KL beb.
It has been like 1 year and 2 weeks since my first time in KL.
Nk pegi lagiii~.
Today Myra in KL. :(
Aku nk ikot! Rindu KL beb.
It has been like 1 year and 2 weeks since my first time in KL.
Nk pegi lagiii~.
let's talk about what I did today.
World War 3 againn at home.
nong nong story. around 1pm went to marsiling all alone,
met some kawan lamerr, lepak sini lepak sane.
and then go cc, and after this donno go where.
ahKIN changed a lot, like whoa.
and arep da mcm abg2 sakit jiwe gitu. XD
but they never failed to cheer me up.
tapi aku kuar ngan dorang pon psl amyraa overseas.
and Fil tk free.
And tonight Mama going Johor.
Tapi it’s overnight, jadi tknk urhh.
I dont care la kalau bestie bace lmbt,
Aslkan bace jgak.
I realise you are trying really hard to make me happy.
And what I am gonna say is something that I mean from the bottom of my heart.
It is not seeing you with her that hurt me.
It is that you had time for her, but not exactly for me.
And most of the time you were with her.
It is not that I want you with me 24/7, and avoid her, no.
I just want you to be like then. Like normal.
Not exactly like now. Trying to make me happy by avoiding her gitu.
In the first place, that doesnt make me any happy.
Afterall, sometimes happiness is seeing others happy.
She asked you to accompany her to the toilet.
You glanced at me, turned back to her and said no.
And your excuse, you were lazy.
I felt bad. Dont make me feel this way.
If you feel like going with her, then go ahead.
Just dont do what you did to me then.
Like neglecting me, and finding my fault.
I trust you now, dont make tht happen no more.
I really appreciate what you did that morning.
I could see the courage and sincerity in you.
Now, just forgive and forget.
No, dont forget.
Take it as a lesson from God, cos everything happens for a reason, remember?
Thanks, bestie.
But maybe you got me wrong.
All I want is us, like then.
Cos to make me happy
Is not to pretend.
ILY =].
She finally realised it. Xie xie, Fil.
If you werent there, I wouldnt know what to do.
At least there was someone to talk to. Thanks :D.
Syukur Alhamdulillah :D, da settle da prob aku.
Now can put many2 smileys. :DD
Thursday, lpas ngan wool, jumpe Rara [chicken chicken].:D
Tk abes2 ngan chicken die tu. Ate at KFC, without realising I was short by $2 the next day.
Then balek rumah, abang balek je, die kate, kaye eh kau, makan KFC.
Then I said, ah ah, kaye kebabai. Besok short $2. Then he laugh laugh laugh.
Terserempak ngan abg plak tu otw home, Rara cute, mane mane abg kau?
Padahal kat dpan mate. Hahaha.
Tried taking her pics, tapi malas.
At first I took two, then I was caught red-handed.
Then she took my hp, I was so stupid, I gave her.
So she deleted them. -.-.
But I got one. For fun je lah eh.
We talked a lot, mcm in pri sch dulu.
Cume last time I was more crappish, I guess.
Dgn die je, asyik ketawe je. Skrg da matured la katekan. Ahahah.
Step matured oni.
Friday, after cca, jumpe Fil otw to nenek nye rumah.
Then nenek uh ni, talk so much. So kene pakse lah dudok jap ngan Fil.
Like normal, she boasted bout other cousins.
Like I want to know like that.
Tapi bagos jgak lah, Fil dapat kenal2 ngan nenek. XD
Kahkahkah. Boleh jadi best friend, Fil ngan Nenek.
And baru2 ni, aku prasan, Fatin klaka gile eh.
Cute!
Hahahahah!
Aku tengah fed-up siol ngan Mama.
Seha kate nk buat konnyaku jelly for her classmates.
Then teros Mama kasi duit for those stuff. Some more die ajar Seha lagi cmne nk buat.
Kalau aku, hah. Jgn harap lah.
Heeh! Tk fair!
Smlm aku solat tau. :D
So proud that I did.
Da lame gile tak solat. Serious.
Then smlm smbhyang kat masjid some more, tknk kalah.
Dapat pahale. Tapi maseh addicted to vulgarities.
Haix, brape tonne dose lah aku nak kumpol ni.
Ok la, bubye. [ sometimes fantasy is better than reality. ]
Ni poem random tau. Tkde keje. :)
[ aku bukan anak Melayu jati, tapi anak Melayu+jawi ]
Setiap kali mata bertentang
Setiap saat pasti dikenang.
Engkau mengukirkan senyuman
Senyuman manis bak lengkung bulan.
Angin bayu membisikkan rindu.
Terasa pilu tanpa hadirmu.
Ombak laut bergelora
Begitu jua hatiku yang gundah.
Setiap titik rasa cinta,
Setiap detik kita bersama,
Terasa hangat di dalam jiwa,
Cinta sehangat Sang Suria.
Sungguh berat kaki melangkah,
Hancur hati musnah berdarah.
Di sini daku berdiri sepi,
Melihat kasih cintamu pergi.
Terkenang apa yang pernah ada,
Suka duka harungi bersama.
Tapi kini hanya kenangan
Kenangan silam menemani kedukaan.
Heres to you, bestie.
I thought I was alone feeling lost,
Guessed you were giving me a pause.
But no, you actually felt the same way,
We could sense each other walking away.
I cried you a river that night.
Losing you was my only fright.
That was the time when I realised
I cant lose you, so I had to think twice.
I couldnt exactly follow my heart,
Thought it would only bring us apart.
But God was trying to show me something,
He taught me not to stop hoping.
It wasnt seeing you with her that hurts.
Without you my my side, I couldnt step forward.
It is true, absence makes the heart fonder.
But why is it so hard to open up, I wonder.
Now we are back together, my friend.
I am always here, just take my hand.
Dont take this incident for granted,
Though it is not something we have ever wanted.
Forget the past, there is always future.
Never look back, it is all over.
And here is the message from God,
In this world, we are what we have got.
So dont take advantage of it
Here is my hand so take it.
We dont wanna lose each other,
I just want us to be together.
:D
black&white ; Saturday, March 29, 2008
Fil ade company baru lah beb. found this on Straits Times. X)
NONG NONG AGO. // before.
my scrabble says SBSBS UNITED.
nadiah smangat story-telling. XD
againn.
minah2 jamban.
trademark dier.
emo nmpk emo nmpk.
atiqah so cute, azlin so camera-friendly.
again. // after.
akuu..
lagi.Boo.
I dont know what is wrong with me nowadays. Maybe sensitive ehk? Hmm. Ntah lah.
Aku regret gitu tunjok Fil diary aku. >.<
I find that mr soh is good. :D
I understand most of his lessons ler.
But I do admit, sometimes I get bored.
Then there is the english teacher tu, pon best.
But poor her, she always shout but our class still make noise.
Hah.
Pasal bende sensitive tu, ya I do admit la hor.
Aku sensitive. Tak tau ape jadi sampai boleh jadi cmni.
Yes, jealousy is very annoying. I am totally fine if someone I love is close to someone else whom I love too. But I find it hard when that someone I love is close to someone else whom I hate. Hate? I don’t know to describe la hor. Not really hate lah, just that I dont really like the person so much.
And I admit that sometimes I feel neglected.
And this feeling is making me lose control, until sometimes I seriously feel like opening up.
First I thought the person already knows,
But on second thought, no.
If that person already knows, why do I still feel the same?
Why is this feeling repeating itself?
They dont exactly know how I feel.
And sometimes I find that I have been taking care of my actions and others nye feelings.
But what about my own? Does anyone really care?
It is like, I want to open up. But I cant.
Know why? Cos I have got no choice.
Bubye, =X.
I dont know what is wrong with me nowadays. Maybe sensitive ehk? Hmm. Ntah lah.
Aku regret gitu tunjok Fil diary aku. >.<
I find that mr soh is good. :D
I understand most of his lessons ler.
But I do admit, sometimes I get bored.
Then there is the english teacher tu, pon best.
But poor her, she always shout but our class still make noise.
Hah.
Pasal bende sensitive tu, ya I do admit la hor.
Aku sensitive. Tak tau ape jadi sampai boleh jadi cmni.
Yes, jealousy is very annoying. I am totally fine if someone I love is close to someone else whom I love too. But I find it hard when that someone I love is close to someone else whom I hate. Hate? I don’t know to describe la hor. Not really hate lah, just that I dont really like the person so much.
And I admit that sometimes I feel neglected.
And this feeling is making me lose control, until sometimes I seriously feel like opening up.
First I thought the person already knows,
But on second thought, no.
If that person already knows, why do I still feel the same?
Why is this feeling repeating itself?
They dont exactly know how I feel.
And sometimes I find that I have been taking care of my actions and others nye feelings.
But what about my own? Does anyone really care?
It is like, I want to open up. But I cant.
Know why? Cos I have got no choice.
Bubye, =X.
HURT
Why is it so hard for me
To let others see
How hurt I am
And how my heart sank?
Now I choose to keep it to myself
Cos I am sick of ears that are deaf.
When my heart breaks, no one can tell.
Even if they do, they dont care, well.
When the ones you used to talk to
Become the ones who tend to hurt you
Would you still choose to open up
With lips sealed, with the tongue so numb?
It is either they are deaf or they are blind.
Is it too hard to read my mind?
Maybe it is true, words are just words.
Maybe it is just me who easily gets hurt.
It seems like no one would understand
No one would reach out a helping hand.
God, show me your shining light.
It was here somewhere, but now it is out of sight.
I JUST WANT YOU TO WAIT
Wait. Isnt that a simple thing to do?
Stop, turn around and help me.
I cant catch up with you.
Wait, you are going too fast.
Cant you spare a thought for me?
I dont wanna finish last.
Wait, let time fly by.
I dont wanna be without you.
But you are leaving. Why?
Wait, I cannot let you go
No matter what happens.
You know I would miss you so.
Wait, I am losing grip.
Let me hold on to your hand,
Dont let a tiny bit slip.
Wait, dont you feel the tremble in my touch?
Or is it that you have forgotten
That I love you so much?
black&white ; Wednesday, March 26, 2008
BOOOOOOOO!
life has been okay, though yesterday got world war 3 at home. heard about it? Tuhan saje lah yang tauu my sufferings.
hanging out with SAYANG (it's a girl ok, wool) really makes me go LALALALALAAA.
and no, ppl, aku bukan lesbo.
sometimes I find friendships dengan girls are better, cos they understand me better. they know me better. no offence yeah wool.
conversations with Fil are so damn funn.
although her voice would suddenly sound as if she's drunk or something kan.
the other day, watched animal night.
ntah lah bestie, mcmane nta bleh nanges.
aduh saliha.
hahahah.
this animal eat that animal.
bloody hell.
some more got one bloody leopard eat this GREY
monkey. that's me. melalaaak.
ahh sane ahh sini.
and I realised how beautiful the world is, ciptaan Allah. :D
in the process of taubat-ing.
tapi vulgarities tk bleh ANG uh beb.
mesti ade nye.
a fuck a day keeps my sorrows away.
today Mama masak macaroni bakar.
a type of pasta gitu, smells like pizza.
but so sad la hor, she cooked it,
tapi tk pandai makan.
fuyoooh.
sedap beb. with cheese and those beef,
Ya Allah. sedap sungguh makanan yang Kau cipta tu.
k mepek. KLAKA KAPE.
this thursday got date with RARA.
watch step up 2. yaHOOO.
ade bdak tu waktu aku bebual ngan die kat phone kan kan kan, die dare aku ckp ILY.
mcm die boleh gitu. at least aku pernah ckp IMY. pi daaa.
Amyraa, aku tk marah pat kau larh.
tapi ade lah eh, biarlah rahsia.
let me keep it to myself cos that's the best. :D
don't worry baybeh.
and ade budak tu ambek gambar aku pakai specs dlm class.
ingat free KAPE.
mcm ugly betty ade larh.
o ya. Malay Dance would be nothing without Sec 4s.
sooo boring! I swear.
God, help me get over this, please.
and oh bongok, no more lying pleaseeeee.
tkmoh tkmoh okayyy.
smlm, performance was hancur berterabor.
first part je da salah. wth.
but at least we enjoyed ourselves.
Amyraa was around. thanks bestie.
appreciate it truckloads.
and Mama and Seha didn't come. Syukur Alhamdulillah.
balek je Mama tanye:
tadi kau pgi dance ke tak?
ape je this satanic mum of mine.
like duh, I wouldn't go out with that heavy make-up melekat kat muke aku kan.
some more it's pink.
smlm asyik nk carik pasal aje.
I thought I couldn't talk to anyone about it.
but bile jumpe amyraa, teros complain kat die pasal Mama.
at least got some listening ears. tu pon sbenarnye nk kene pakai hearing aid.
hahah.
at last. dapat number safiah.
itu ari kluar ngan lea and myra, tnampak die otw to IMM.
I was like mad dog.
Astaga.
yest heard Cekgu As talking bout css juara 2008.
hmmm. aku da pikir da.
this year tknk masok urh, malasss.
phm2 je lah eh. :)
ok bubye. :D love ya.
[I'd play canon if you'd just listen]
Lautan yang berapi
Daratan yang berduri
Bagiku bukan musibah
Malahan hikmah berharga
Katalah apa saja
Yang jelik penuh dusta
Kau bebas warnai diriku
Di minda yang kelabu
Siapa diri ini
Tuhan yang memahami
Amarah dan kecewa
Hanyalah bara membakar jiwa
Sungguhpun ku terkilan
Terguris perasaan
Ki pilih berdiam diri
Tanpa dendam di hati
black&white ; Sunday, March 23, 2008
Hello hello pale hotak myra yellow.
Assalamualaikum teman-teman.
Siol uh. Mood swing siots hari ni.
School
Shit that bloody subject is driving me crazy.
I failed English compre. 4.5 out of 20. wtf wtf wtf. And I thought it was my best.
It was, yah. It was my best, but it’s like the worst.
I almost cried.
And I don’t know why I feel so empty.
Like everything pisses me off.
My English compre, and those bloody bastards who wasted their time flirting with Ms Ling during English remedial, and oh ___, who was flirting too, eh myra?
And pagi2 lagi myra pulak. She tknk pi skola eh besok?
Aiyooo. Then aku nanti sorang siol. Tk berhati perot betol. Abey totot pon tknk pi skola.
And I honestly don’t feel like going too, but I know I have to.
Toot la tht essay writing competition.
Surely this year cannot get 1st prize. Wanna bet?
I wanna go dance, I don’t wanna write compo long2.
I seriously prefer dancing.
And lea, gd luck la sey. Terjemahan teks susah dol.
Oh and and
I’m starting to hate _____ sooo much.
The girl nasriah hates too, I guess. :DD
Wahsey. Stop distracting me cann.
You got the steps right, don’t have to ask me.
You knew it. At least, gimme a chance to catch up first.
Once I get it, I’ll help you.
Stop calling my name as if I got owe you money la sey.
I’m gonna avoid you on the next dance session uh I tell you.so irritating.
Home
Kao. Many things dlm rumah ni da nak mintak ampun.
My refrigerator is spoilt. Cos I’ve been putting my ass into it a lot of times, cos it’s too hot. Hah craps.
Ok lah, things at home is alright.
Naseb baek lah, cos march holidays are coming.
I don’t wanna spend too much time outside this march holidays.
Myra ajak kuar, but fuck la isabelle.
Kalau she give me my pay, I would go lah sey.
Tsk. Babi bloody bastard.
Friends
Hmmm. Ok lah.
Kesian myra, tk bleh tengok orang laen flirt.
Hah.
Aku no comment urh.
But why does ___ have to sacrifice ___ time on the person ___ hated a lot last time?
And it’s that pathetic jerk some more.
Aiyoo. Dunie dah nak kiamat.
Fil sombong siol tadi. Kan kan kan.
Aku ngan nadh tengah jln tepi die,
Act tk nampak konon. Pi da.
Amyraa ngan aku makin violent eh? (yeah, agreeable)
Asyik gadoh je.
Oh and that prank is going fine.
Whooooh.
Hahah. Ok totot, I’ll stop it one day aite :D
I promise.
But it’s so irritating.
Every day siol nk msg.
Dungu nye gundu.
Oops.
Others
Oohh. I’m starting to love IKLIM. So damn nice larh their songs.
Jiwang songs rock the shit out of me.
Like fuck.
At home when Mama scolds me,
I lock myself in the room,
Listen to Iklim’s song,
And I cry.
And the process is like so fast.
But M. Nasir is still the bomb. :DD
Have you ever feel so desperate to tell someone that he or she is blinded by someone else, but you’re so afraid he or she would think you’re so bad or jealous?
Ah, just wondering.
Sometimes I do.
How long will this last?
He/she denies almost everything that I say.
Oh ya, he/she knows everything la kan.
Forget it.
I miss our old family joke.
When I was younger, I always loved to follow my parents everywhere they go, especially shopping or going for a walk.
Then mama or ayah would ask: sape nak ikot?
Then tige2 bradik nk jawab: nak nak, pi mane?
Then mama or ayah would say: pi jamban.
Suspend je.
But funny lah actually.
Huh. Memories.
I still remember: BP- bantal pelok KL - kedai luar
what else urh?
Hahah.
Ok larh. Bye bye.
[I looked down at it, trying to connect the person in the photograph with my memories, trying to bring to life the smiling face that stared back at me. But it was all wrong. It wasn’t how I remembered you.]
black&white ; Thursday, March 06, 2008
Hey babes.
Sorry for the very very late update.
Hah, by now I actually don’t even think any one is reading my blog except for sbsbs babes.
Btw, from now on, if you find reading my blog a bit hard to understand, then maybe you don’t know me well enough. Ummmm. Understood?
Let’s talk about things – in order.
School, friends, home, and everything else.
School
Cekgu As was so OVER during that prize presentation right.
I know. I know. I know. I know.
And I suck at geog you know. Idk why.
And and I hate DnT very much. :D high-five people.
Friends
Wool. Wool. Wool.
Wool is so cool.
Hoho.
Goddd. I miss her!
Hah.
I don’t know.
I’m so called fed-up with her right now.
I would rather not being friends with her than to lose her trust.
And errh. I hope she reads this:
I’m sorry if I have not been talking to you or something.
It’s not that I hate your hairstyle or whatever.
Because I’m sick of always making the first move.
It always makes me think I’m a despo or something.
It’s me who has been pretending all along.
It’s me who’s going through it all alone.
Babe, you’re a great person. But I can’t wait. Because waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought. Useless and disappointing.
Yeah, disappointing.
Now ask yourself.
Are you changing?
How is it affecting others?
Wait.Disappointing? Or rather frustrating.
Sorry for the very very late update.
Hah, by now I actually don’t even think any one is reading my blog except for sbsbs babes.
Btw, from now on, if you find reading my blog a bit hard to understand, then maybe you don’t know me well enough. Ummmm. Understood?
Let’s talk about things – in order.
School, friends, home, and everything else.
School
Cekgu As was so OVER during that prize presentation right.
I know. I know. I know. I know.
And I suck at geog you know. Idk why.
And and I hate DnT very much. :D high-five people.
Friends
Wool. Wool. Wool.
Wool is so cool.
Hoho.
Goddd. I miss her!
Hah.
I don’t know.
I’m so called fed-up with her right now.
I would rather not being friends with her than to lose her trust.
And errh. I hope she reads this:
I’m sorry if I have not been talking to you or something.
It’s not that I hate your hairstyle or whatever.
Because I’m sick of always making the first move.
It always makes me think I’m a despo or something.
It’s me who has been pretending all along.
It’s me who’s going through it all alone.
Babe, you’re a great person. But I can’t wait. Because waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought. Useless and disappointing.
Yeah, disappointing.
Now ask yourself.
Are you changing?
How is it affecting others?
Wait.Disappointing? Or rather frustrating.
And oh yea.
I remember, last year mann.
I did the stupidest stupid thing anyone can ever do.
Urgh.
How I hope I can turn back time. Without being labeled as a sec 1.
(fuck off lah mofo)
Oh yeas. There’s this person I don’t know who.
But so sensitive. Amyraa je tau sape yang aku maksudkan.
Hahah.
Alamak kau ni.
Kau kate nk carik aku.
Tkderr ponn.
Think I scared is it.
No way !
Dungu nye gundu.
Aku banyak body guard la sey.
Oh dear. I miss being online.
Chatting with her!
And errrh. I really really really really miss china.
Mcmane sey nk lepaskan rindu.
Even if I go there in future (cheybah), it wouldn’t be as fun as going with those beijing dolls.
And I had a crazy idea.
What if, beijing dolls collect money many2, then when we grow older we go there together.
XD bongok kan.
But, is it possible?
Home
Sucks. It forever does. Everyone is like ditching me at home.
And I hate it.
Mama nag.
Seha bitching around with me. (cute right myraa?)
Saw what she did to me?
Saw my left elbow?
That’s it. Fuck kan.
Padahal aku tk buat ape2 kt die.
I was late for school. And ah, long story.
Sial nye betine.
Lucky abang is a lil loving.
Abang is the best.
But then I got fed-up with him the other day
For eating nadhirah’s toblerone.When I opened the fridge, it wasn’t there any more.
I remember, last year mann.
I did the stupidest stupid thing anyone can ever do.
Urgh.
How I hope I can turn back time. Without being labeled as a sec 1.
(fuck off lah mofo)
Oh yeas. There’s this person I don’t know who.
But so sensitive. Amyraa je tau sape yang aku maksudkan.
Hahah.
Alamak kau ni.
Kau kate nk carik aku.
Tkderr ponn.
Think I scared is it.
No way !
Dungu nye gundu.
Aku banyak body guard la sey.
Oh dear. I miss being online.
Chatting with her!
And errrh. I really really really really miss china.
Mcmane sey nk lepaskan rindu.
Even if I go there in future (cheybah), it wouldn’t be as fun as going with those beijing dolls.
And I had a crazy idea.
What if, beijing dolls collect money many2, then when we grow older we go there together.
XD bongok kan.
But, is it possible?
Home
Sucks. It forever does. Everyone is like ditching me at home.
And I hate it.
Mama nag.
Seha bitching around with me. (cute right myraa?)
Saw what she did to me?
Saw my left elbow?
That’s it. Fuck kan.
Padahal aku tk buat ape2 kt die.
I was late for school. And ah, long story.
Sial nye betine.
Lucky abang is a lil loving.
Abang is the best.
But then I got fed-up with him the other day
For eating nadhirah’s toblerone.When I opened the fridge, it wasn’t there any more.
Like fuck gitu.
Others.
Life has been the same like before.
The naggy people (you-know-who) remain naggy.
The crappish people remain crappish.
The cute people remain cute.
And above all, the hot people get hotter. (like me)
Nah, not really actually.
After being caught for my so-called long hair that is touching my shoulder.
Dummie.
How could she say I’m like going for a fashion parade?
Pfft.
Oh dear.
And now that I am 13 years, 5 months and 13 days, I realise something that’s very very sad to talk about.
I miss a lot of things in my past.
I miss being a K2 kid when bringing those barbie water bottles to school isn’t something funny.(SIAO!)
I miss my old kindergarten uniform! (cute right that uni)
I miss woodlands. A lot. If only I get the chance to visit that old house again.(yea I know)
That place holds a lot of memories. Happy moments, and also sad ones.
I miss eating durians with my whole family.(sob sob)
I miss si ling primary school. (KIDDING OR WHAT?)
I miss china.
I miss pei tong modern dance.
I miss popping. (kahkahkah)
I miss those birthday bash I used to have.
I miss that ‘moment of truth’. (aww. Memorable one)
I miss adam khoo’s workshop. (sialah. Giler siol bende ala tu)
I miss those p4 p5 hari raya days.
I miss pei tong CAREHUT babes.
One day I’m going there and meet aunty fong ming!
Oh I still remember her name after years.
I miss pt babes slenge bacen time.
I miss many many things.
Awww. If only betol2 ade time machine, I would do anything to turn back time.
Eish. Tsk.
Never mind, cekgu irda said I can never change the past.
But I can change my future.:D oh yea baby. Go girlfriend.
Others.
Life has been the same like before.
The naggy people (you-know-who) remain naggy.
The crappish people remain crappish.
The cute people remain cute.
And above all, the hot people get hotter. (like me)
Nah, not really actually.
After being caught for my so-called long hair that is touching my shoulder.
Dummie.
How could she say I’m like going for a fashion parade?
Pfft.
Oh dear.
And now that I am 13 years, 5 months and 13 days, I realise something that’s very very sad to talk about.
I miss a lot of things in my past.
I miss being a K2 kid when bringing those barbie water bottles to school isn’t something funny.(SIAO!)
I miss my old kindergarten uniform! (cute right that uni)
I miss woodlands. A lot. If only I get the chance to visit that old house again.(yea I know)
That place holds a lot of memories. Happy moments, and also sad ones.
I miss eating durians with my whole family.(sob sob)
I miss si ling primary school. (KIDDING OR WHAT?)
I miss china.
I miss pei tong modern dance.
I miss popping. (kahkahkah)
I miss those birthday bash I used to have.
I miss that ‘moment of truth’. (aww. Memorable one)
I miss adam khoo’s workshop. (sialah. Giler siol bende ala tu)
I miss those p4 p5 hari raya days.
I miss pei tong CAREHUT babes.
One day I’m going there and meet aunty fong ming!
Oh I still remember her name after years.
I miss pt babes slenge bacen time.
I miss many many things.
Awww. If only betol2 ade time machine, I would do anything to turn back time.
Eish. Tsk.
Never mind, cekgu irda said I can never change the past.
But I can change my future.:D oh yea baby. Go girlfriend.
Anyway, that mas selamat guy is so bloody stupid.
Come on ahh. It’s SINGAPORE ok.
Where can you run to?
(betol betol betol!)
I wonder how he escaped.
Maybe he flushed himself in the toilet bowl.
Or maybe the security guards didn’t go to school so they are so stupid.
Or maybe he got black magic. The other version of criss angel, maybe.
BABA rindu RARA. :D
Random yea.
Whatever lah bongok.
Btw, I have a new name.
nasyiBASTARD.
Cool right.
Oh let’s talk about what I did today.
Mama and seha again, made me feel like I’m invisible.
So I went out. And I was broke.
Believe it or not. I didn’t spend a cent.
I took bus no 7, stopped at geylang,
Searched for phoenix bangkit album (it was there!!!),
Come on ahh. It’s SINGAPORE ok.
Where can you run to?
(betol betol betol!)
I wonder how he escaped.
Maybe he flushed himself in the toilet bowl.
Or maybe the security guards didn’t go to school so they are so stupid.
Or maybe he got black magic. The other version of criss angel, maybe.
BABA rindu RARA. :D
Random yea.
Whatever lah bongok.
Btw, I have a new name.
nasyiBASTARD.
Cool right.
Oh let’s talk about what I did today.
Mama and seha again, made me feel like I’m invisible.
So I went out. And I was broke.
Believe it or not. I didn’t spend a cent.
I took bus no 7, stopped at geylang,
Searched for phoenix bangkit album (it was there!!!),
I want this!!!
Took 61 to bukit batok,
And then 106 to clementi again.
Like WHOA.
Okay bye bye. Nasyiba loves you guys.
(I live in a world full of people pretending to be who they are not)
black&white ; Saturday, March 01, 2008
the job interview was fine.
met Qayyum at tiong bahru,,
then went to the LJS there.
the manager was friendly. thank God.
but then,, I have to work for at least 4 days a week
for beginners.
well,, that's actually very fine to me,,
but I don't think Mama will agree.
I told her it's 3 days only.
then I'll act as if the extra 1 day is just
a last-minute one.
ohh God.
ok lahh. I can work okay.
I can. I can.
:D
I can't tell Abang where I'm working,,
cos I'm afraid he would tell that jerk.
oh yes.
I cried while doing the families and friends album project thingy.
I don't know why.
Mama was like heckcare-la-sey.
she said just put anything.
so yes,, I thought of all those old old names.
like kassim. or selamat. saloma. zaiton.
hahahahahahahahahahahah.
I don't even know what that jerk is working as.
or his birthday.
or his age.
I really don't know.
and I wrote that compo
a hari raya pic.
an old one.
like a happy family portrait.
but the compo made it look like
all those faces in that pic
are all fake ones
they seem happy.
but they aren't.
gawwwd.
then when I read out the names I wrote to Mama,,
she burst out laughing.
she definitely didn't know I cried.
dear ________.
I don't know what you think of this.
I'm gonna work.
I'm serious about this.
I bet you wouldn't let me do it
if you're here.
but you're not here with me.
going through every single day with me.
after you left,,
everything goes wrong.
Mama doesn't really like me working.
but she knows I'm trying to help her.
so don't put the blame on her.
I know,, if you're alive,,
I wouldn't have to go to work at this age.
I know,, if you're alive,,
Mama wouldn't have to take 3 jobs.
I know,, if you're alive,,
my life would be happy forever.
I know,, if you're alive,,
I would be the luckiest daughter on Earth.
that jerk ruined my life,,
I thought you would save me from him.
but you had to go.
I'm missing you so much.
black&white ; Sunday, January 13, 2008
HELLO HELLO TODAY I'M YELLOW.:D
well,, malay dance was somehow boring.
not like last year's audition.
kan kan kan. last year we had games.
but this year no games lehh.
went home late by 5-10mins,,
got scolded. darn you bloody woman. -.-
took sneaky pics of Nad and Fil.
yaaay.
oh Fil so cute.
hahah.
then today,, so tiring.
like fucking tiring.
Amyraa lahhh ni !!!
shopping with her is damn damn damn damn damn damn
tiring.
her shopping is darn surrrrrrlowwwwww.
seriously larrrh.
Amyraa must be thankful to me mann.
I accompanied her,, walk walk walk until got backache you know !
oh ya. I must improve on my sneaky photo-taking skills.
yess.
&& otw to bugis,, met qayyum la sey.
she was otw to work.
and I was like oh,,
God answered my prayers.
I was desperate for a job,, remember ?
so I was yaaay-ing.
but still,, I was still thinking if Mama should know bout this.
Amyraa tk encourage.
Seha pon tk. what say you ?
oh Qayyum is so cool la sey,,
she so supportive.
:DD
and today,, patched up with my ex-bestie.
hahahah. tu larrrh. lain kali jgn sembarang ckp okay.
betol2 break baru tau.
oh gawwd,, it sounds soo wrong.
hahah.
and today I wore the necklace bestie gave,,
so she was happy. right ??
went searching for Fil's bdae present actually.
hahah. I planned what to get early2 olradi.
Seha's bdae present,, gth.
next week arrrrh.
heh,, dream on Seha.
ohh people,, please,,
trust me. I can.
I believe I can.
I will learn how to live.
how to be independent.
I have to do this.
I've been waiting for this opportunity for so long.
I wanna work.
have faith in me.
I will maintain my studies and cca and stuff.
I will okay.
I promise.
bestie,, don't worry kaes. :DD
it's okay.
I'll be fine.
the drink sour eh fil? hahah,, cute lah tuu.
amyraa && emily.
ahh blurr.
roti prata telor instant. :DD
me && bestie dah patched up !
finally ?
we were searching for them,, and there they were,, camwhore-ing.
the besties.
sneaky.
take 1.
take 2.
take 3.
take 4.
take 5. =DD
yaaay.
amirah kecik sangat maybe.
I'm so yellow.
qayyum !
sorry ! tangan aku pendek!
oh,, bongok that's you. smile !
yess,, yellow me.
oh-so-yellow.
alone ?
reflection of me. amirah pon aderr.
black&white ; Saturday, January 12, 2008
